How to Dance Your Way to Mental Health

I've not yet seen it in action, but I imagine Dance Therapy would also be helpful in addressing social anxiety. 

Does Dance Therapy seem to you like a useful path to mental health? Tell us why on our Facebook page! 

Dance Therapy

A therapeutic technique that uses rhythmic movement and music to help clients gain greater body awareness and improve social interactions.

(Introduced by U.S. dance professional Marian Chace in 1942)

Danse-thérapie

Une technique thérapeutique qui utilise le mouvement rythmique et la musique pour aider les clients à acquérir une plus grande conscience de leur corps et à améliorer les interactions sociales.

(Introduit par la professionnelle de la danse américaine Marian Chace en 1942)

TheRelationship.Institute

How to Spot Relationship Triangulation

Triangulation happens in therapy, too, where people try to draw the therapist into taking sides. Therapeutic side-taking is sometimes helpful, so long as the counselor is intentional, skillful, and not subject to manipulation.

Ever seen kids try to get between their parents? How did you respond? Please share on our Facebook page! 

Triangulation

When two family or group members in conflict each attempt to draw another person to their side. Kids triangulate parents all the time, but it's especially destructive when parents in conflict catch a child in the middle. 

Triangulation

Lorsque deux membres de la famille ou du groupe en conflit tentent chacun d'attirer une autre personne à leurs côtés. Les enfants triangulent tout le temps leurs parents, mais c'est particulièrement destructeur lorsque des parents en conflit attrapent un enfant au milieu.

TheRelationship.Institute

Go ahead and storm off

Walking calms several uncomfortable reactions, but stomping off your fury is one of the most efficient ways to get past anger.

And there's a specific technique for doing it without further provoking the person you're angry with. Watch this space. (Or book an appointment with us and learn the right scripts today.)

Venting: It's just not healthy

Just venting? Despite popular belief, turns out it's not healthy. At all. The research says it reinforces and exaggerates one's negative beliefs.

And worst of all? It disconnects you from the people you're trying to communicate with. They shut down their rational brain and go into fight or flight.

Better strategy? Breathing so deeply that it activates the vagus nerve -- the one that regulates the parasympathetic nervous system and impacts everything...including immune response. It'll calm you down, help you think calmly and rationally, and quiet the impulse to raise your voice.

Who Comes First: Partner or Kids?

Ask a therapist — and mother of seven—how to prioritize

QUESTION: My girlfriend is upset that I put my kids before her. I’m doing the right thing, right?

Did you leave her in the cab? (Image credit: coastguard.dodlive.mil)

First, congratulations on being a stand-up parent. There aren’t enough of you in the world, so round of applause. But are you entirely right to put your kids first? Let me ask you a few questions, because the answer’s not as simple as you might think.

The Words Your Upset Wife Needs to Hear

Not to be sexist, but…

My father is an inch shorter than my 6-foot 2-inch (188cm) mother. Despite the example of grandma and grandpa, though, amongst my siblings and our many children, nearly every opposite-sex attachment has involved taller males connecting with shorter females. My tall daughter shudders — literally — at the idea of dating average-height men.

Lesson? I’m not confident socialization is the most compelling explanation for gendered differences.

It’ll never work out. (Image credit: pxfuel.com)

Here’s my theory: There’s something fascinating and compelling about people who aren’t us. Perhaps that’s part of the reason most humans are drawn to people of the other sex: They’re mysterious, and mystery is interesting.

But here’s the thing about that mystery. While it’s interesting, it also leads to confusion and misunderstanding…and quite often, hurt feelings.

How to Stop Getting Sucked In

When Jessica* got online with me, she was nearly in tears. Her husband was furious with her, and she was ready to give in.

What should I do? 

(image credit: 

publicdomainvectors.org)

“What should I do?” she asked.

“He wants to buy more toys?” This wasn’t our first conversation about her spendthrift partner.

“Yep. Another set of golf clubs. Even though he already has a set.”

“And he wants to take the money from…?”

“From the money I’m saving to replace my tires. He says the tires aren’t that bad.”

“So, when you disagreed?” 

“At first, he was trying to be nice about it, but when I didn’t agree, he started shouting that I’m a selfish, controlling bitch.”

Are we having (dys)fun(ction) yet?

How well does your family function? Are you all quite fond of one another, or are one or more family members contemplating airing the family problems on an upcoming episode of Dr. Phil?

Bet you'd quit fighting if a bear suddenly showed up!
(Image credit: Flickr)

Here's a quick one-question test to determine whether your family is functional, or dysfunctional. Ready? Here it goes:

Where's the enemy?

Are members of your family causing

The Fast Fix for Spinning Thoughts

When emotions overwhelm, don’t word vomit. List vomit.

I have an acquaintance who is married to the idea that she has a right — a right, I tell you — to unload on her partner whenever she’s upset.

Her fourth marriage is on the rocks.

What did shouting ever get you? (Image credit: frank mckenna on Unsplash)

I’ve shared with her the research(1) that says venting is a terrible coping strategy. (Incidentally, so are self-blame, denial, withdrawing, and using social support — ie, gossiping.) But she’s so angry, so often, that she never gets to the three effective coping strategies: positive reframing, acceptance, and humor.

How to Pick a Counselor — And Bypass the Bullies and Buffoons

Do I need a psychotherapist, a regular therapist, a psychiatrist, a counselor, a psychologist, a sociologist, a life coach, or arggh!

Who ya gonna call? 

(Image credit: pikrepo.com)

Say you need a mental-health professional.

Who you gonna call?

Choosing is easier than you might think. Here’s help. 

We start by introducing a few terms you should know before hiring a therapist, then list the five kinds of therapists. Then we help you decide whether the one you’re considering is any good.

(We also describe a few other