How to Stop Escalation

People who operate from principles have an easier time of staying calm in the face of provocation than people who don't yet have clearly enunciated principles. 

Here's an example of a principle-based skript. The two principles at play here are: 

1. I don't argue electronically.

2. I won't be shouted at.

In this exchange, the other party might -- or might not -- stay angry, but the assurance that a conversation will happen at a named time goes a long way toward calming the storm. 

How would you respond? Comment on our Facebook page! 

Principle-based skripts create boundaries.

Les scripts basés sur des principes créent des limites.

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How to Slow Down Arguments

Disagreement erupts into wars when people get triggered. Slowing down, buying time, is key to maintaining peace. 

What do you say that calms triggered people?

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How to Pause

Someone says something outrageous? Slow it down with: 

"Hmmm. Interesting. So what you're saying is..."

Comment mettre en pause

Quelqu'un dit quelque chose de scandaleux ? Ralentissez avec :

"Hmmm. Intéressant. Donc ce que tu dis, c'est..."

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How to Spot Relationship Triangulation

Triangulation happens in therapy, too, where people try to draw the therapist into taking sides. Therapeutic side-taking is sometimes helpful, so long as the counselor is intentional, skillful, and not subject to manipulation.

Ever seen kids try to get between their parents? How did you respond? Please share on our Facebook page! 

Triangulation

When two family or group members in conflict each attempt to draw another person to their side. Kids triangulate parents all the time, but it's especially destructive when parents in conflict catch a child in the middle. 

Triangulation

Lorsque deux membres de la famille ou du groupe en conflit tentent chacun d'attirer une autre personne à leurs côtés. Les enfants triangulent tout le temps leurs parents, mais c'est particulièrement destructeur lorsque des parents en conflit attrapent un enfant au milieu.

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How Jury Nullification Works

 Jury nullification can also happen when juries dislike a prosecutor, or when the person filing a civil lawsuit is unlikeable.

Has there been a time you faced a tough decision as a juror?

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Jury Nullification

When juries acquit people who definitely committed a crime. It happens if jury members think a conviction would be unfair or or would result in a harsh sentence they don'tt want to be connected with.

Citation: Crown v. John Peter Zenger, 1735  

Annulation par le jury

Quand les jurys acquittent des personnes qui ont définitivement commis un crime. Cela se produit si les membres du jury estiment qu'une condamnation serait injuste ou entraînerait une peine sévère à laquelle ils ne veulent pas être associés.

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How to Say 'No'

 No need to make excuses when you turn someone down. It's all about the gentle tone and regretful facial expression.

How to say 'no'

Need to decline an offer without feeling like a jerk? Try this: 'I wish I could, but I can't.' Smile regretfully, and change the topic.

Why Disciplined Homes Help Kids

 Children thrive in loving homes. It's science.

The Brooklands Experiment

A 1960s UK study that moved children with severe intellectual disabilities from institutions to homelike familial living situations. Those moved to Brooklands improved in many areas; those who stayed behind languished.

Nothing's better than a loving home

Nurture•Cherish•Love